First I want to start off by saying that, when I started my YouTube channel, I never had any intention of letting anyone know that I was ill. Then, when it became harder to maintain my channel, tweeting, Google+, Facebook, etc., I started to waver on that decision. After all, I'm a makeup artist, and I have a lot to offer, whether I'm ill or not, right? But ultimately, I decided to stick it out and continue to try to push myself, which is just the type of person I am. During EVERY video, I was in incredible pain, but was able to grin and bear it. Then, when I watched my "Valentines Day Collab Video," I saw something that really bothered me. I didn't look happy. For the first time, I wasn't able to cover up the fact that I was in a great deal of pain, but since none of you knew I was in pain, it came off as me just not being happy making my video, and that really bothered me! So, I knew that it was time now to just come clean and let the cat out of the bag, so to speak.
I had indicated in a few of my videos that I had closed my studio/shop down due to health reasons, then went to school to become a Medical Transcriptionist, but I was only able to do that for a little over a year before having to quit that job...again, due to health reasons. So, here it comes, and I don't want any pity, or for any of you to look at me differently than you have, if at all possible. I still want to just be "Teri, the Makeup Artist." I have a list of medical conditions, with more being handed down on what seems to be a regular basis, lol.
I'll start off by saying that right now, I'm recovering from surgery, which is harder than it used to be for me due to a few reasons.
I first became ill over 18 years ago, but the doctors couldn't find anything, so they passed down the all-too-commonly used diagnosis of CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.) I knew that I didn't have CFS, because I did what most of us do when we are diagnosed with something we are unfamiliar with and looked it up online. From what I was reading, those were NOT my symptoms! I was in extreme pain, yes I became very fatigued, but it felt as though "something" was attacking my body. Unfortunately, all they would have had to do was run the right blood test, and it would have been caught right away, but instead, it was given YEARS to advance. I worked through the pain for as long as possible, as I've always been stubborn, and i wasn't ready to let my business go!
Finally, a little over a year ago, I was sent to a rheumatologist, and I found out that I had advanced AS (Ankylosing Spondylitis.) I had been living like an 80-year-old woman, unable to get out of bed most days. So, the only course of treatment was to start me on Remicade infusions. Remicade is a TNF-a (Tumor Necrosing Factor-alpha,) a form of chemotherapy. I was born with kidney disease, and I was in the hospital constantly my entire childhood, so my veins were not strong enough to handle the infusions, so I had a port placed in my chest. Well, our huge border collie decided to jump in the middle of me one night, and I felt the burn immediately. The port still seemed to work, although it was starting to have problems with blood return and flushing. Then, for some unknown reason, a few months later, he did it again, this time making me cry because it was so painful. The next time I went in for chemo, I found out that my port was useless. So, that's the surgery I am currently recovering from. The surgeon tried to place the new port in the same side, but my vessel was blown, so he had to put it on the other side. Now my chest looks like a serial killer came after me, lol. But, onto further health issues. I have cystitis cystica, chronic bursitis, MVP, hemiplegic migraine disorder, tachycardia, degenerative arthritis (which there is no treatment for other than pain management), and I was just diagnosed with sleep apnea. We've also just learned that I have something wrong with my lungs, so I'm now being referred to a pulmonologist (lung doctor.)
On top of all of this, we are supposed to be moving soon, and I'm completely unable to prepare. I'm too weak to start packing. I'm too weak to even do the dishes these days, so this move is going to be hard on me.
I just wanted all of my friends and subscribers to understand that I haven't abandoned my channel, and I have every intention of returning as soon as I'm strong enough...however long that may be. So thank you so much to those of you whom have stood beside me, been patient with me and most of all, not given up on me.
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